Archbishop advocates return of Inquisition

News Type: Other — Fri Feb 8, 2008 8:54 AM EST

odd-news, satire, archbishop, spanish-inquisition, auto-de-fe

Photo by Jan Tik. (License: Creative Commons Attribution)

The Archbishop of Whortleberry today called for a limited application of the Spanish Inquisition in Britain.

Roman Catholics praised the proposal but the government rejected it. The unusual suggestion from one of Britain's highest ranking Christian leaders would, if adopted, allow Roman Catholics to burn heretics, reintroduce the ceremony of auto de fe and generally torture confessions of heresy out of people.

The Archbishop said in a radio interview with the BBC that incorporating the Spanish Inquisition into UK law could help improve Britain's flagging social cohesion. "Certain provisions of the Inquisition are already recognized in our law since the government's new anti-terror laws came into force," said the Archbishop.

The Prime Minister's spokesman immediately rejected the Archbishop's proposal.

"The prime minister believes British terror laws should apply in this country, based on British values," said the spokesman.

The Archbishop said he was not advocating that Britain allow Catholics to burn witches for instance. "Let's face it," he said. "It's been seventy odd years since this country even banged a witch up in prison."

Cardinal Biggles, director of the Friends of the Holy Inquisition, said that its use would help lower tensions in British society.

"It would make Catholics more proud of being British," he said. "It would give Catholics the sense that the British respect our faith. Who knows when we may have something like an Albigensian heresy in this country."

"Nobody expects the Inquisition," he added.

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9.5

{"commentId":1448053,"authorDomain":"Rebecca-Yarowsky"}

Rebecca Yarowsky

Heeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

And yet? A state of affairs not too removed from present-day reality. Gulp.

Excellent, David!

{"commentId":1448053,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"Rebecca-Yarowsky"}

6 votes

#1 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 9:15 AM EST

{"commentId":1448082,"authorDomain":"generaldecay"}

generaldecay

Oh, so cynical! ;)

{"commentId":1448082,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"generaldecay"}

6 votes

#1.1 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 9:23 AM EST

{"commentId":1448110,"authorDomain":"Rebecca-Yarowsky"}

Rebecca Yarowsky

And oh, so possible! ;-O

{"commentId":1448110,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"Rebecca-Yarowsky"}

4 votes

#1.2 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 9:31 AM EST

{"commentId":1448118,"authorDomain":"cartooncat"}

cartooncat

Clipped to Cynicism.

*Hides cauldron and looks nervously at comfy chair*

{"commentId":1448118,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"cartooncat"}

7 votes

#1.3 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 9:33 AM EST

{"commentId":1448414,"authorDomain":"alistairbrown"}

Alistair Brown

I think this deserves serious consideration and debate on Question Time ;-)

{"commentId":1448414,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"alistairbrown"}

3 votes

#1.4 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 10:52 AM EST

{"commentId":1448805,"authorDomain":"djd"}

djd

I feel a history article coming on about the last witch to be banged up. All I need is the time to write it in :(

Cynical, moi?

{"commentId":1448805,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"djd"}

3 votes

#1.5 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 12:50 PM EST

{"commentId":1448079,"authorDomain":"generaldecay"}

generaldecay

Good idea! No one tells the truth anymore, David, and I think this is the solution! ;)

{"commentId":1448079,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"generaldecay"}

5 votes

#2 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 9:23 AM EST

{"commentId":1448810,"authorDomain":"djd"}

djd

The rack beats a polygraph any day Alice.

{"commentId":1448810,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"djd"}

3 votes

#2.1 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 12:51 PM EST

{"commentId":1448119,"authorDomain":"quixiotic"}

quixiotic

The first thing that popped in my head was History of the World Part 1...

"The inquisition, what a show, the inquisition, here we go..."

{"commentId":1448119,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"quixiotic"}

4 votes

#3 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 9:33 AM EST

{"commentId":1448128,"authorDomain":"Rebecca-Yarowsky"}

Rebecca Yarowsky

And, now, thanks to the advances of modern "technology," these latter-day inquisitors will be able to add waterboarding to their torture repertoire!

{"commentId":1448128,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"Rebecca-Yarowsky"}

5 votes

#4 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 9:35 AM EST

{"commentId":1448821,"authorDomain":"djd"}

djd

Even better, Holy-Water boarding Rebecca ;)

{"commentId":1448821,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"djd"}

5 votes

#4.1 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 12:53 PM EST

{"commentId":1449822,"authorDomain":"Rebecca-Yarowsky"}

Rebecca Yarowsky

Hah! Touche!

{"commentId":1449822,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"Rebecca-Yarowsky"}

2 votes

#4.2 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 5:01 PM EST

{"commentId":1448442,"authorDomain":"witchofthenorth"}

Glinda

"Certain provisions of the Inquisition are already recognized in our law since the government's new anti-terror laws came into force," said the Archbishop.

Not the comfy chair?!! watch: The Spanish Inquisition :-D

{"commentId":1448442,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"witchofthenorth"}

5 votes

#5 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 11:00 AM EST

{"commentId":1448828,"authorDomain":"djd"}

djd

Yes, I should have mentioned Cardinal Ximinez and Cardinal Fang as well as Cardinal Biggles!

{"commentId":1448828,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"djd"}

4 votes

#5.1 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 12:55 PM EST

{"commentId":1448845,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

Raat ki Raani

Delightful. Love it, this is very well written and oh so well timed. It so happens that I 'baked' a reply on another thread on a ... related... topic. As that is likely going to go stale, and I'm just so darned lazy, I'll say reuse engineering.

The laws of a country are neither anything nor should ever be anything to do with morality and immorality, per se. They should be everything to do with defining a clear distinction between what is right and what is wrong. For a society and its culture. That is the basis and at the heart of common law, certainly in England. And one important aspect of that principle is that it evolves. Over time, to take account of the society and culture that the law is intended to protect.

Any links between the law of the land and a prevalent culture in a land that can be deemed to represent a link to a religion (any religion) is at risk of creating division and conflict in society. If it so happens that the laws of a country get influenced (and therefore evolved) by a culture, religion or system, that is a function of English common law. And not the culture or religion that is deemed to have been the influence.

I am no lawyer nor expert. Just an ordinary layman with a view of my understanding of how the laws of England have evolved over time immemorial. If I was the Archbishop, I would steer clear of such debates. They do not represent the views of a multi-cultural Britain.

Good old Gordon. Good to find some common ground with him:-)

{"commentId":1448845,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

5 votes

#6 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 1:00 PM EST

{"commentId":1448905,"authorDomain":"djd"}

djd

Wondeful, thanks Raat. Mmmm, cup of coffee and a comfy chair for me.

{"commentId":1448905,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"djd"}

4 votes

#6.1 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 1:15 PM EST

{"commentId":1448943,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

Raat ki Raani

sounds like an evening of rights to write and wrongs to wring:-)

{"commentId":1448943,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

4 votes

#6.2 - Fri Feb 8, 2008 1:25 PM EST

{"commentId":1457402,"authorDomain":"seward"}

Sandie Seward

Interesting, however did I not see this before? Well-written satire. Question: What is the difference between the Inquisistion and Sharia Law?

Both take us back to the Middle Ages. As a Witch, should I be worried?

{"commentId":1457402,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"seward"}

3 votes

#7 - Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:49 AM EST

{"commentId":1457555,"authorDomain":"djd"}

djd

The witchcraft act was repealed in the 1950's Sandie, but that's going to be another article.

{"commentId":1457555,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"djd"}

3 votes

#7.1 - Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:51 AM EST

{"commentId":1457624,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

Raat ki Raani

difference between the Inquisistion and Sharia

moor of the same, isn't it?

{"commentId":1457624,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

4 votes

#7.2 - Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:18 AM EST

{"commentId":1457844,"authorDomain":"seward"}

Sandie Seward

I was asking that question "tongue in cheek", Djd. Although if those bloody Muslims get their way, who knows?

"I kill you. Kill the Infidels".......

{"commentId":1457844,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"seward"}

2 votes

#7.3 - Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:19 AM EST

{"commentId":1457911,"authorDomain":"melonhead"}

urbane gorilla

Raat! Watch out, you may be harshly pun-ished!

{"commentId":1457911,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"melonhead"}

3 votes

#7.4 - Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:38 AM EST

{"commentId":1458013,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

Raat ki Raani

Well Alice. Either that or swiftly van-ished. We get so spoilt for choice these days, don't we?

{"commentId":1458013,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

3 votes

#7.5 - Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:07 PM EST

{"commentId":1458976,"authorDomain":"melonhead"}

urbane gorilla

Swept away in a Town & Country - sort of.

{"commentId":1458976,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"melonhead"}

3 votes

#7.6 - Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:38 PM EST

{"commentId":1459018,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

Raat ki Raani

Naah. Think it was Del Boy in a Reliant Robin. More's the pity (-:!:-)

{"commentId":1459018,"threadId":"215832","contentId":"1286873","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}

3 votes

#7.7 - Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:46 PM EST

{"canLink":false,"threadId":"215832","isPrivate":false}

DJD

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Archbishop advocates return of Inquisition

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